Oxytocin, The Bonding Chemical

 It's interesting the different ways male and female brains work. I find it interesting that many people do not take that into consideration when they think about marriage. It’s already hard enough to pull and place together two individuals raised in different circumstances together. Now we must think of the fact that they are two different genders who do not think the same. However, with understanding and patients’ things can change. If we work hard to understand the ways the different genders think, we will become more willing to come up with a solution than just quickly blaming someone for something they couldn’t control.

When a man and a woman marry there are several ways to bring their relationship closer together. It will help them feel connected with each other and they can form a bond with each other. This is sex. Many do not understand what sex is used for. They think it is there for pleasure however that is not the case. Sex is a part of life that helps us bring children into this world. This is a gift from God that allows us to start families and become closer to our partners. However, sex can have a lot of outcomes in a relationship which are good or bad. Naturally, there is going to be challenging communication. We each, male or female, must be open when communicating with our spouse. We need to understand their needs, fears, and several other thoughts that come into their heads. There is going to be imbalance and frustration but if we each take a step back and are unselfish with what we want we can form that balance and get rid of that frustration in our marriages.

I would like to move on to a different subject for a little bit. Oxytocin. What exactly is oxytocin and how does it work? Oxytocin is a chemical in our bodies that give us the feeling of connection. In other words, it’s a bonding chemical. Women are more likely to experience it because their bodies tend to release it more often. For example, have you ever wondered why the mother of a baby absolutely adores and loves it even if it looks the most interesting looking alien, you have ever seen? The baby may look super ugly however, while the mother was in labor oxytocin was released and that is why the mother has a love for that baby that may seem unbelievable. That bond continues as oxytocin is released again when the mother breastfeeds. This is why you will see girls dating someone who does not treat them right and would be better off dumping them. However, because of the oxytocin chemical, they are bonded to that person, and they do not see how he is treating her until she gets away from that.

 Now that we understand oxytocin, let's talk about why it affects someone in a marriage. A woman will experience oxytocin when they are having sex. This bonds them to their partner, and they want to love them more. However, women want to feel safe, warm and close before even having sex in the first place. Men tend to want to have sex to feel warm, safe, and close to their partners. This is where a balance needs to come into play in a relationship. If you have this balance, you will find that you will trust your spouse more and be open to their ideas and thought. Many people end in divorces because they only do what is natural for them too. However, we almost need to do the supernatural to keep the marriage together. We need to have that communication, comfortability, thoughtful cooperation, unselfish actions, with giving and take. All of these will help your relationship with your spouse become stronger and more bonded.