Marriage?

               Today, Marriage is not what it used to be. Marriage has changed a lot and has become something new. In the eighteenth-century marriage was a way to obtain or keep wealth. It was political. In the middle-class family’s marriage was a business deal and for the women, it was a way to gain economic security. Love was not in the matter, and it was mainly arranged marriages.  Eventually, as time went on men started turning to their wives for intimacy instead of turning to concubines or other women. Women turned to their husbands as well for intimacy instead of just economic security. In fact, in today’s world intimacy is one of the primary goals in marriage. As we can see people marry for more than love and intimacy. Some people marry for wealth, politics, business, security, as well as several other things. However, some people do marry for love.

              When looking for a spouse we run into several social factors and conditions. We run into stereotypes and other expectations. For example, men should be older than the women. This is a stereotype that I personally think should disappear. I know several women who have married men who are younger than them. Both of my sisters for example. They both married men who were younger than them. It might just be a year younger, but they married their other halves. They fell in love with these amazing men and didn’t want to live without them. Then there is the stereotype where the wives should be the homemakers and the men should be providers. In my opinion, I do not mind this stereotype. I would love to stay at home and nurture the children that my future husband and I brought into the world. I think that it is an important job to raise children. I do not ever want to put my children in daycare while I work if I had the choice. I want to be raising my children not some person I am paying to raise them. I want to have that connection with them. The problem that some run into however is that men do not want to marry until they know that they are stable enough to support a family.

              Joining two families can be hard and we shouldn’t expect it to be easy. We are putting individuals together who were raised in a different way by different people. Each family is different and has its own way of raising its children because that was how it worked in that home. There are going to be disagreements and challenges when trying to find a balance. However, don’t give up so easily. Marriage is a wonderful thing. President Russell M. Nelson from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stated, “Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concentrated effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed in each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness”. If we do not try our hardest to make things work with our spouse, we could end up in a divorce. We just must try to find the common ground, roll with the punches, and get back up even if it is hard. Listen to your spouse’s concerns and ideas. You are combining two families which means there must be a compromise.